CHEERS!

As we soon close out this year and prepare to jump into another, we all have memories of 2016 and hopes and dreams of 2017 floating around in our minds. Every year I hear a jumble of the same types of "New Years resolutions" from people. A lot of them are financial - pay off debt, save more money, buy a house, ect. However, the majority of them have this one common theme: HEALTHY - The desire to be healthier physically and healthier emotionally.

Everyone wants to be healthier right? No one likes feeling overweight, bloated, weak, insecure, unmotivated, depressed, anxious, guilty, bitter, angry.. the list could go on. Then why is it so hard to actually achieve health in the areas of our life that so desperately need it? Why do we look back at the year behind us only to remember all the things we DIDN'T accomplish? Sure, some of it could be our own incompetence or lack of motivation.. But I think the majority of the time it's unrealistic goals and expectations that keep us from the life we want.

There's nothing wrong with "dreaming big", but sometimes it's the small changes that actually can make the biggest difference. Take dieting for example - Although I can definitely see the purpose to "crash dieting", cutting out all carbs, and living off of all that's green.. it's also not realistic in the long run. I know many people that do those sorts of things to kick start their dieting or eating healthier, and that's great! However, I've also known so many that have dove into that sort of lifestyle thinking it can be their new way of eating only to be disappointed months later. Between crazy diet pills, weight loss smoothies, and fad new diets, there's a lot thrown at us in the world today as far as how to "be healthy" physically. Can it help you loose 20 lbs in a month? Sure! It's certainly not realistic though as far as forever goes. Another example of this is running. About 2 years ago I decided I wanted to run. So I simply went out for my very first run, thinking I would manage about a mile. Long story short, it didn't work haha. However, eventually I did get there! The process was long and I took "smaller steps" rather than a giant leap to get to where I wanted to be. Sometimes in life you have to just run for 1 minute and walk for 1 minute over and over, before you can "run the marathon" of life. I think at times that's how we live all parts of life - You know, making huge unrealistic commitments and goals only to be disappointed by our failures. Again, I think dreaming big is great! Maybe you're even a dream big and get it done type person! However, for me it's always been a baby steps in the right direction plan that has kept me going and got me to where I want to be. So in this post, I'm going to share with you some ways I personally have made healthier changes in my own life at the hands of small simple changes. It's only fitting since the new year is right around the corner, and health is something I think we all want more of.

HEALTHIER PHYSICALLY:
⁃ Drink more water
⁃ Do something active every day (or week)
⁃ Choose one unhealthy food to cut back on.

Let me elaborate..

DRINK MORE WATER:
This has been at the center of everything I do that's healthy. Our bodies weren't created to drink our calories. Of course that doesn't change the fact that so much good in the world can be consumed by drinking haha. I just mean that the majority of what we do drink should always be water. Drinking water has changed many aspects of my life. Here are a few ways I've seen change - I have more energy, my skin has a healthier color, my metabolism is faster, I crave less unhealthy food, and I get sick less (specifically head colds). If you are struggling to drink more water, start off small! Try running for only a minute first, remember? : ) Maybe you barely drink water! Yikes. Please drink water. If that's you, rather than being overwhelmed by the fact that you don't drink water, start off by making it your goal to drink one glass of water a day. Do that for a few weeks, then add another glass and so on and so forth. Eventually you should be drinking at least half your body weight in ounces. I promise you, this will be one the healthiest changes you could ever make for yourself. Your body will simply not function properly without enough water.

DO SOMETHING ACTIVE EVERYDAY:
Everyone has different lifestyles and goals. If you know me then you know that the last 2 years I have found my love of fitness. I go through phases where I work out everyday, and then weeks or months that I barely workout. Through it all though, I manage to have one goal in mind: Do something active. If you like working out, don't put the pressure or unrealistic expectation of working out everyday on yourself. Even 3 or 4 times a week might be a stretch for you depending on where you are physically and what your schedule looks like. Pace yourself and take one day at a time. Didn't have time to work out today? Bust out a minute plank before you go to bed, or a quick set of lunges. I always say that 5 minutes of working out is better than zero minutes of working out. If you aren't into fitness that's fine! Go for a walk, dance around to music, go hiking when the weather is nice, whatever! Just move. Life is short, and someday you might not be able to move around as easily. Maybe for you the more realistic goal because of where you're at is to do something active every week. Sign up for that dance class you've always wanted to take : ) Or simply commit to taking a walk after dinner one night every week. It doesn't always need to be this big move or change. One small step in the right direction can only move you forward - never backwards.

CHOOSE ONE UNHEALTHY FOOD TO CUT BACK ON:
Take that one unhealthy thing in your life that you are always over eating, and commit to eating LESS of it. When you try and strip your life from everything bad and unhealthy all at the same time, eventually you will most likely go through withdrawals and break. There's no sense in trying to cut out all things sweet and sugary from your life permanently. Spoiler alert: It won't work haha. Don't try and cut pizza completely out of your life when you love it. Maybe just decide you're going to strive to have 2 slices with a side salad instead of 4 or 5 slices. Easier said than done though, trust me I know. This one may take a lot of motivation on your end, and maybe even accountability. Have people in your life that support your attempts to be healthier, and be honest with them when something is hard. Overeating can be an outward reaction of something deeper going on inside, so I definitely don't take that lightly. However, be kind to yourself. Pace yourself and take one day at a time. Everything in healthy moderation! Don't try and tackle all your food issues all at once. Start with ONE food that you can do this with and go from there. A lot of people think "I'm just going to start eating healthier! Eat salads everyday ect.." Maybe for some people that does just work. However, if you are addicted to food then you have to work with the issue directly first rather than just trying to mask it with a healthier lifestyle. Of course less carbs at dinner should mean MORE of the veggies or a salad. So actually, think of it more as making room for healthier food rather than trying to put healthy on top of unhealthy. You can't just wake up and start eating healthier and have it stick forever. Deal with the problem first. Believe it or not, I actually know what I'm talking about in this area. It's ironic that I got made fun of for most of my childhood for "being anorexic", when in reality I actually struggled with OVER eating. Yes that was a side note, but important to throw in. It doesn't matter if you're skinny or over-weight, it's still never ok to be addicted to food. Just because you can "eat whatever you want" and still be skinny doesn't mean that you should. Point being - I know what it's like to have an unhealthy addiction to food. Don't spend your life feeling guilty after eating. It's not healthy mentally or physically. Get right with food, but don't put unrealistic or unhealthy expectations on yourself only to set yourself up for defeat and failure. One food, one day at a time.

HEALTHIER EMOTIONALLY:
⁃ Spend less time on social media.
⁃ Do more things that make you happy.
⁃ Pick your battles

I shall elaborate!

SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
This is a big one for me. This is the perfect example of a small change in your daily routine making a big change in your life. Maybe you don't go on social media very often, OR maybe you can spend endless hours on fb and not have it effect you negativity. However, I highly doubt that. You may not be effected in obvious negative ways, but is it benefitting your life? Here's the deal - There are many things we spend our time doing that have very little effect on our life. However, the moment something takes up HOURS of your days, it takes precedence in your life. We have 12 or more hours everyday that we are awake and capable of making a difference in people's lives and in the world, and to simply enjoy every moment. Why would we ever want to spend more than 15 mins a day on something like Facebook? Or twitter? Or Instagram? I asked myself that exact question this year. It's a great tool for self employed photographers or artists, and helps people keep in touch with old friends and loved ones. These days though social media is clearly way more than that, and it's effecting people relationally and emotionally. If you have not been a victim of this, consider yourself lucky. I actually had family "disown" and ostracize other people in my family all because of things that were posted on social media. Some of it was within reason of being upset, but the use of social media prevented real honest in person confrontation and reconciliation. When you're living in this world where anything can be posted, liked, disliked, blocked, commented on ect, you are creating this new way of doing relationships. A fake non confrontational way where half the things being said aren't really felt, and people can "bow out" at any time. We were never meant to know about each others lives from a little screen in our pocket. We were created to relate to one another in real honest in depth ways. Social media is slowly taking that out of our lives, and it IS effecting us. It has effected me. Consider creating social media boundaries in your life this year. You will feel way more happy and connected.

DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
This one seems so simple, and yet so many people (myself included) constantly toss aside the things we actually love doing. Why? Business. We're too busy. I went at least 4 years without taking a real dance class and I regretted it. I run into so many past dancer friends or meet new people that say they used to dance like it was their job, and then they tell me they haven't danced since they were 18 and they are now well into their 30s (or older!) Maybe dance isn't really something they love anymore. Or maybe like me they let life get too busy for a few years, and then a few years turned into 5.. turned into 8.. 10.. and so on. Don't completely stop doing the things that make you happy. Ever. A crazy busy phase of life is one thing. To completely shut down something that once made you happy is another thing completely. Never let it be more than just a phase. Also, take notice of new things that make you happy and don't be afraid of doing them! Recently I've starting writing, journaling, and blogging. I've always enjoyed writing, but never really invested myself into it very much. Now that I'm an adult I've realized how therapeutic writing is for me. I know I'm probably not very good at it, but I don't care! I do it for me. It's helped me process and even communicate my emotions better. What makes you happy? Life is short, so do the things you love to do NOW.

PICK YOUR BATTLES:
If you are a parent you have probably learned this the hard way. If I freaked out about and tried to handle every annoying thing or problem that came up with my kids.... I'd be an insane person haha. You just can't. When your 4 year old son takes his clothes off for the 10th time that day after you've continuously told him to put clothes on, it's time to just drop it. Is it annoying? Yes. Is it really that big of a deal? No. It's really not.
I'm a fixer. I want to fix people's problems for them, and I desperately want to change people when I see that they or their life is flawed in some way. Sometimes people do need our help, and sometimes our opinions of people's choices are relevant and appropriate. When this is true, I'm all in! I'm your girl : ) Sometimes though, we just need to take a deep breath and "walk away", literally or figuratively. I have learned this the hard way in life. Most of my emotional anxiety comes from me engaging in conversations or situations that I never should have involved myself in ever. Learning to drop it and move on has been a life long lesson for me. I'm constantly telling myself "pick your battles Olivia". I always ask myself - Is this conversation going to fix the problem, or potentially make the problem worse? Is this ACTUALLY a big deal? Am I part of the problem or the solution in this situation?
Our emotions can sometimes seem to have a mind of their own. They can't always be controlled. It's up to us how we handle and respond to them. Life is WAY too short to constantly involve ourselves in negativity that does nothing but tear us down. Learn to say no when something isn't healthy for you to engage in or fix.

So there you have it. Six changes I've made in my life that have made big impacts. This new year consider making changes like this in your life. Not these changes specifically! Changes that will change YOU.
As I close out 2016, my New Years resolution is to simply continue striving to be a better version of myself. May your new year be filled with health and all things that make you happy! The best "New Years resolutions" you can have are the ones centered around taking care of YOU. Cheers to that! 🥂

A mothers Christmas list

Dear Santa,
This year I decided to make my own Christmas list. Why should only the kids get to experience the magic and wonder of all you have to offer? I hope this list finds you well, and that you can manage all my wishes.

1. I would like to have just ONE day where my kids get along the entire day with zero arguing. Of course more days would be nice, but I know... that might be pushing it.
2. No more whining. None. No compromising on this one. End whining as we know it. Why? Because it's bad for the soul and it makes me want to rip my hair out daily.
3. I would like both my children to do everything I ask the first time - heck.. my husband too 😂 (love you hunny haha)
4. I would like an entire week of not having to do any laundry, AND YET.... still have all the clothes clean and folded neatly in my drawers ready for me in the morning every single day. What??? It's Christmas magic ok!!! This list is for Santa.
5. I would like to be able to drink an entire cup of coffee without having to re-heat it in the microwave 5,000 times. Yep. This is serious stuff people lol.
6. I would like to be able to go to the bathroom with the door closed without all hell breaking loose the minute my behind hits the toilet. An entire day of this would be just fabulous, but honestly even just once in a day would be nice.
7. I would like it to be socially acceptable and appropriate for stay at home moms to drink mimosas ALL DAY LONG.
8. I would like my kids to not suddenly hate me when I'm trying to get myself and them out the door in the morning. This can't just be me!!!! My kids move faster than I'd like them too while out in public, but are then snails when I'm trying to leave the house. Probably an entire week of this would be therapeutic for me... or you know, like maybe forever 😳 lol
9. I would like to have those powers that Mary Poppins has in the movie - If you're a Mom reading this then you know the scene. What I would give to snap my fingers and have my house come together..... a woman can dream ok?! Like I said.. Christmas magic people. Christmas magic.
10. And last but certainly not least - I would like a nice long vacation on a warm tropical island alone (ok maybe my husband can come too haha) with coffee that always stays hot, mimosas, and foot massages every day.

Sincerely,
Olivia

The Wonder

It's THAT season. You know, that time of the year when that cold white fluffy stuff falls from the sky and everyone complains about it on fb. Haha...
Contrary to popular belief, I actually love snow. Yup that's right. It gives me all the feels. However, I will be one of the first ones to admit that snow in March is enough and I am at that point in time dreaming of warm sunny days and going to the beach. BUT, in December - February I am A OK with it. Not only am I ok with it, it actually excites me. Like a little girl looking out her bedroom window in the morning wondering if she'll have to go to school excited. Most adults out grow that.. haha.. but for some reason I never have. The first time it snows, even if just a flurry, still makes me giddy. Why do I have this immature obsession with snow, when most other adults are scoffing at the very thought of it? At this point as an adult it's no longer about snow days, sledding, or building a snowman. So then what it is?

One thing I've notice about all people, is that we like to feel in control. We control our days and schedules. As adults we all have a job to do everyday whether it be a job out of the house, or if we work from home. We most likely get up the same time everyday, work the same hours everyday, and we probably even eat dinner close to the same time every day. Even if you don't work, you probably still have a routine that flows throughout each of your days. Schedules and routine control our lives, and we're in the driver seat. Until snow happens. Snow can be annoying, inconvenient, and can totally ruin plans. BUT so can having kids haha. And like having kids, I love the unpredictability and the "beautiful mess" that snow can bring. Here in New England, snow comes and goes when it pleases. When it comes, it forces us to realize that we aren't always in control. That's not to say that if you have plans to go to Boston to see a show and a storm prevents you from going, that it isn't annoying and inconvenient. Of course it is! But so is going to Disney World with 10 people (4 of which are 3 toddlers and a baby) and having EVERYONE get the stomach bug....... not that I would have any clue what that's like lol ; ) But anyway! My point here is that sometimes life doesn't go the way we planned, snow or no snow. So you can come up with 20 different scenarios to try and convince me of why snow is terrible, and yet I will still jump for joy when the first major snow storm hits.

Snow gives us an excuse and a chance to SLOW DOWN. This day and age I'm not even sure most people have the ability to slow down on their own. Sometimes a major snow storm is what it takes for us busy bodies to settle down. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a "busy body", and yet I too am guilty of planning my days and life with the expectation of everything going just as planned. Snow has a way of making me slow down and "go with the flow", and I like it. People also drive slower in the snow. Everyone's always in such a rush these days that it's nice to see people taking their time, not cutting people off, and not having ridiculous road rage. When it's snowing I notice people are a lot nicer, quicker to let someone go in front of them, and will even stop to help someone who is on the side of the road in some sort of trouble. I can't even tell you how often I see people pulled over or stopped in a random place on the road (clearly with something wrong) and people just keep driving. Not even a roll down the window with an "are you ok?". Why is that? Well because "everyone has cell phones these days" (is what most people say), and because everyone's in a rush. There's no time to stop and help someone else. And yet.. when it's snowing, I always see people stop or at least roll their window down asking people if they're ok. Snow has that effect on people. When you're only driving 10 or 20 miles an hour and probably already late for work, stopping to help someone is way less inconvenient and seems like the right thing to do. Snow slows us down, and makes us more aware of what's going on around us. We're all in it together. We're all trying to get to work or wherever we're going while attempting to manage the roads safely.

Snow gets kids out and about knocking on people's doors asking if they can shovel their driveway for them. It brings neighbors together chatting outside while they're shoveling, when typically everyone just keeps to themselves these days. I have a cranky neighbor (haha), but every once in a while he will shovel out the front of our house for us when it snows! Snow reminds us that we are all on this earth together. It's takes us out of our little bubble of control and the people we normally allow into it, and shows us something else. Snow brings all people together.

I very often have this day dream. In the dream Nate and I are snowed in somewhere. We are inside a little log house cabin in the middle of the woods with a fire place going. Feet of snow everywhere, and snow covering every branch of every tree. It's a magical picture of what snow means to me - Spending endless hours watching the snow fall with loved ones, getting cozy by a fire, and the simplicity of life it all brings. You're probably thinking "the simplicity of life? Life isn't simple." You're right, it isn't. Hence the reason there's so much tension between people and the idea of snow. Snow goes against everything we know as people. We have places to go and things to do. In fact, most would say there's not enough hours in the day to get done all they have to do. Most people would argue that there's nothing "simple" about snow, and that it's nothing more than chaotic and complicated in every way. I disagree. I think snow is very simple. Maybe it's us and our lives that are complicated and chaotic, and snow just doesn't fit into it all.

One of my favorite movie moments of all time, is from the Chronicles of Narnia - The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. It's the scene where Lucy enters the wardrobe for the first time. As she wanders further and further into the wardrobe, she eventually stumbles into the snowy world of Narnia. No matter how many times I see it, I get all goose bumpy and excited. If only in real life we could walk through some sort of closet right into another world. It would be something truly magical of course. It reminds me though, of waking up in the morning to see that it snowed over night. When I was a kid I always loved when that happened. You go to bed in one kind of a world, and wake up in another quite different.

There's clearly a nostalgia that kicks in for me when it's snowing. It's an unexplainable joy. Snow is so beautiful. That's just me though. Maybe you hate snow! I get it. It's cold and inconvenient, and can absolutely overstay it's welcome. However, don't let it ruin your life for 3 months. Find something beautiful in it. Stop and slow down, even if for just a moment.. and take time to admire the wonder of it all.

My Caleb

Caleb William Tocci - Born 12/5/12

Our baby boy.. Our almost 9 lb. not so little boy who took his time getting here. Not only was he due in November despite coming in December, but I also was told several weeks before my due date that he would almost definitely come early. So you can imagine my frustration and the humor in it all once December rolled around. Here I am at 37 weeks thinking I'm having a baby soon.

Here I am at almost 41 weeks wondering what the heck is happening.

Haha.. oh gosh.. ahh those sweet sweet memories. I at least got all my Christmas shopping done before Caleb even arrived! Once it was December I was like "ok, if this kid insists on coming in December than I'm going to make sure ALL the shopping is done before he comes!" And that I did. You can imagine the humor in a VERY pregnant lady, walking around target with a cart full of hundreds of dollars worth of Christmas gifts.. haha. As I was walking out of one store someone nicely said "awe look at you getting all your shopping done before that baby comes! Good for you! When are you due?" I quickly kept walking and flashed a cheesy fake smile and yelled "LAST WEEK!" Hahahaha.. I still laugh remembering that.

Caleb did eventually come and has made all our lives quite exciting since then lol. Everything about this labor was completely different than my first. Quick and WAY more painful. Other than him FINALLY arriving, the best thing about the day he was born, is how even within the first few hours of his life we saw glimpses of his unique personality. Even the nurses were commenting on how crazy it was that within hours of him being born he had this goofy playful grin on his face already. This picture was taken soon after he was born. It's as if he was thinking to himself "Yes. I'm finally here! Think of all the mischief I can get into.."

We love our little Caleb. It's no secret that he makes my head spin daily, and is consistently challenging my patience. But I am a better mom and all around person because of him. Also, Caleb was..... A SURPRISE! Hahaha yep. If you are close with Nate and I than you may already know that. However, you may not have realized it because we were still thrilled of course. The shock factor wore off quickly and we soon became excited about our new addition to our little family. It's honestly ironic that Caleb of all children was not a planned baby considering EVERYTHING about this kid is spontaneous and unplanned even still to this day lol. Caleb has been surprising us since the day he was conceived.. and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Caleb is a fun loving strong willed boy with an adventurous spirit that knows no fear. I've grown to love his adventurous spirit that knows no fear.. despite still fearing for his life daily haha. As parents we never want our kids to miss out on fun or things that could make them happy because of fear. We want them to try new things and not live in a constant state of worry or regret. I know that Caleb is only 4, but I'm pretty sure we won't ever have to worry about that with him. We should have known we were in for it when the kid decided to walk at the age of 8 MONTHS!!!! Yes, you read that correctly. I think that's honestly when all the craziness started, since 8 month olds really should NOT be walking haha. Caleb learned at a VERY young age that life is way more fun when you can be free and explore. He was always getting into dangerous situations. Therefore we were constantly worried for his safety and constantly running after him. At first we thought it was just his lack of awareness or simply just immaturity.. and I'm sure some of it still is of course! But as Caleb came into the toddler stage we realized it's also partially his lack of fear that leads him into danger and prompts him to do things that have us scratching our heads. Yep. No fear. Caleb loves adventure, and I love that about him. I can't wait to see him continue growing up and continue surprising us all with his vivacious adventurous spirit. He's only 4 and I already see him living life to the fullest.

When I looked up the meaning of Caleb, this is what I found: "It is of Hebrew origin, and the meaning of Caleb is "faith, devotion, whole hearted". Biblical meaning: Caleb, a companion of Moses and Joshua, was noted for his astute powers of observation and FEARLESSNESS in the face of overwhelming odds." That made me smile! My hope and prayer for Caleb, is that as he grows up he can use his spirit and fearlessness as a way to bring glory to God and be a motivation for others.

Today, I am shocked to say that my crazy little baby Caleb is 4 years old. I know as moms we always say "we can't believe it". But no seriously guys.. I really can't believe it!!! Haha. The time has flown by and yet I'm always doing my best to slow down and enjoy every moment. So today being Caleb's birthday was the perfect day to reflect on how he came into the world, and all the awesomeness he brings to our life. Happy birthday to Caleb.. my son who hates wearing clothes, laughs at everything, jumps first thinks later, and by the grace of God has not yet had to be rushed to the hospital : )

...and for teaching me that life is always more fun when you can be free and explore.