Today I went to a pride festival in Nashua! I went with my husband and some of his family, to support my brother in law. However, I can confidently say that is not the only reason I went. If you are reading this and you know me, you may be wondering why I as a Christian heterosexual, would go to a LGBTQ pride festival. Firstly I want to say that I do not, nor will I ever, judge anyone for having an opinion on this matter that is different than my own. These are simply my thoughts that I hope can potentially either encourage a more open mindedness, or even just allow people to better understand where I am coming from. I think this is a very controversial topic and so I will do my best to be respectful while also staying true to who I am and where my heart is on this.
I want to start by explaining that I grew up in the church and was raised to believe in Christianity, and I am still that person today. My faith in God is extremely important to me and my goal in all that I do is to point people to Jesus. My parents are wonderful people who taught me to treat everyone with love and kindness no matter who they are or what they believe. However, the overall messages I heard over the years from within the Christian community in regards to homosexuality certainly did not sound like love and kindness to me. I cannot say that it was ever directly said to me that homosexuals were bad or unworthy of acceptance, but it certainly was never a message of inclusion or a call to make sure the LGBTQ community knew they were still loved by ESPECIALLY the Christian community either. Look, I am in no way shape or form trying to bash my own faith community here. I just think that it’s important for not just all people, but for adults within churches and the Christian community especially, to realize something: Just because you may not be promoting hate, doesn’t mean that you are actively promoting love. Just simply saying that you don’t hate or judge someone, doesn’t automatically mean they are going to feel love and accepted from you.
If I’m being honest, the subject of homosexuality has always been very confusing to me. I have read almost the entire bible and still to this day spend time in the word, studying and using it as a source of hope and guidance in my life. I think there are absolutely many things used from the Bible that are very often taken way out of context, and I will stand by that. There’s a lot of history behind things in the Bible in regards to what was going on at that time. However, there are also things that are clear even if they may be uncomfortable for me to read. I know what the Bible says about homosexuality; but I also know we should be more concerned with the dying depressed alone hearts of these children and adults. It’s time we stop unintentionally promoting hate in the name of God and the Bible. Because when you simply proclaim your religious or political views onto people without ever trying to understand them and what they’re going through, that’s exactly what you’re doing. If you’re reading this and you believe the LGBTQ lifestyle to be wrong for religious reasons, all I’m asking is a change of approach not a change in stance.
So why should we have to go out of our way to make the LGBTQ community feel accepted? Because they struggle. Because kids that are gay in school get severely bullied. Because they don’t get the same rights as heterosexual couples do. Because unlike straight kids, they have to “come out”. Because many kids (and adults) loose family members due to an unwillingness to accept their gay or trans lifestyle. Because teen suicide among LGBTQ kids is at an all time high. I’m sorry but I don’t care what you believe based on faith or for really any reason, but that should break your heart. If you think for a second that these people just suddenly realize they are gay (or not the right gender) and then just go on their merry way being happy and accepted.... wake up. Many of them struggle and battle their way through life. THAT should be our concern.
So why did I go to the pride festival? Because the LGBTQ community isn’t looking for our approval, but our love and respect. Most LGBTQ people I’ve talked to said they aren’t even looking for validation, because they understand people have their own personal beliefs. I’m not suggesting that all Christians should feel led to go to pride gatherings! Certainly not. All I’m asking is that you give some serious thought about a way you can make someone in the LGBTQ community feel loved. I think as Christians we think that if we are just “being nice” to gay people then that’s enough, but I don’t believe that. We need to SHOW them love. Open your eyes to their pain and struggles; because I think as Christians we can at times be jaded by just seeing the lifestyles of people to the point that we aren’t actually seeing the people. So I went to the pride festival to celebrate a group of people that feel very misunderstood and judged by not just the Christian community but at times the whole world. I celebrated pride month so that my LGBTQ friends know that they as people are worth celebrating; because that’s what Jesus would do.
I could go on and on here. Clearly I have a lot of thoughts on this! Lastly I just want to directly address Christians and what I really think God is calling us to do. Christians can get a “bad rap” these days. We’re “judgmental”, we’re “homophobes”, we’re “racist”, we’re “crazy”, we’re “close minded”.... the list goes on. But I think the homophobic one takes the cake. A lot of people really do believe that! It’s such a controversial topic too, because then some Christians want to argue that “those people” don’t represent them. Does the hatred from so called “Christians” towards the LGBTQ community represent all Christians? NO! Certainly not. Which is exactly why we should fight to stand against it and make sure the LGBTQ community knows that. I had a friend in college NOT tell me she was gay because she knew I was a Christian. I’m not sure what her prior interactions with Christians was, but that was a wake up call for sure! I can blame it on all the crazy psycho extremist “Christians”, but what about what I’m NOT doing or saying? Ultimately I just want to stand up and loudly speak truth when there are people using God and the Bible as a way to spread hate. Just because I am not spreading the hate myself, doesn’t mean I can’t still stand up for the ones who have been hurt and rejected by “the church” from other people. Those “Christians” may not represent you or Jesus, but they represent all the hurting misinformed people out there that think it’s who God is. Christians, doesn’t that bother you?
Last Sunday at my church, my pastor gave a message about being discontent for the right things. At the core of every human being is an ability to be discontent about something. He encouraged us to take all of our discontent we feel towards worldly things, such as the “never enough” mentality of most Americans, and to re-channel it into a discontent for the things that break the heart of Christ. He asked the question “what breaks your heart?” Many things about life break my heart at the moment. One being, the gap between the church and the LGBTQ community. I am wildly discontent that for YEARS there has been this tension between Christians and gays. I am wildly discontent when I hear a person who is gay say that after they came out, they were shunned by their church. This absolutely breaks the heart of Christ. IT IS HAPPENING. This is not an assumption because of crazy things I saw on the media or from an article I read on fb. I know this from talking to people first hand. Maybe YOU reading this aren’t hateful towards the LGBTQ community. Maybe YOUR church isn’t a church that makes people feel that way. But there is life beyond our little world of who we are and what we believe to be true, and it’s hurting and turning people away from Christ... and I don’t like it. This problem is generations deep of messages preached to the LGBTQ community from the church, and it’s WAY beyond just the message of it being a “sinful lifestyle”. If we want them to stop thinking Christians are judgmental and hate them, then we need to proclaim the opposite loud and clear. Being silent about this is not what Christ is calling us to do. You can’t be for what God is for, but then unintentionally through being silent entertain what breaks His heart.
At my church our goal is to help people find their way back to God. That doesn’t always just mean inviting people to your nice church services with the coffee shop inside. Sometimes it means things like having to talk about uncomfortable subjects, or inviting the least likely into your home for dinner, or praying for your “enemies”, or physically walking alongside someone at a pride festival among people that might already think you hate them. When trying to help people find their way back to God, I think going to places where some people may have the wrong image of God and Christians is a pretty good place to start. That is what Jesus did after all.
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:35
