WORDS

The things we say have the power to uplift, encourage, and motivate. However, our words can also be self destructive, and completely crush and destroy those around us. I'm going to talk about the power of our words in two scenarios - The things we speak to others and the things we silently speak to ourselves.

WORDS TO OURSELVES
A little over two years ago I decided that I wanted to start running. When I first started, to my surprise (and disappointment) I could barely run ONE MINUTE!!!!! Not joking.. haha. I was extremely out of breath in minutes. That was September of 2014. Fast forward to today... and I've ran several 5Ks, and in a few days will run my second 10K without stopping. I can run for over an hour when two years ago I could barely run a single minute. Seems crazy I know!!! But it's true. I realized that through discipline and training that it was definitely possible for me to run at least 3 miles. So I TOLD MYSELF I COULD DO IT and I got to work.
Yes, of course if we are using the example of physical goals then there are some things in life that may never be possible for people to do because of physical ailments. But honestly for most of us, even our physical strengths and weaknesses are defined by the words we speak to ourselves and therefore resulting in what we THINK in our minds to be true. Running has taught me that the body achieves what the mind believes. The mind is a powerful thing, and can convince us of almost anything even if it may not actually be true. Our minds are operated by the silent words we tell ourselves. If you don't WANT to ever do things like - loose weight, be a runner, have a certain career ect.. then that's ok, and you just won't. But if you simply just think you CANT be or do any of those things, well.. then you still won't even if you want to. So think long and hard before the next time you say you "can't" do something.

Listen.. I am not a fast runner or an expert really in anything! But I have learned the power of words when we say them about ourselves. So as we soon get ready to move forward into another year.. think about the things you WANT to do, even if you think you can't, and try it at least. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 - I love that verse because it reminds me to not just trust God, but also that we have a God who is FOR our joy. He doesn't want us living in fear or self doubt. He wants us to enjoy life! That looks different for everyone, but it starts with speaking healthy words over yourself and realizing you are most likely capable of way more than you ever thought.

WORDS TO OTHERS
We live in a time where our words can be spoken in numerous ways. We have smart phones and social media. With social media we have the ability to speak whatever we want through several different communities. I love that! I love to talk : ) Anyone who knows me knows that. I'm a pretty transparent person too! I very rarely say something I don't mean. However, I've noticed lately how easy it is for me to say and communicate pretty much anything via texting and social media, regardless of wether or not I actually even feel that way. I'm not talking about things like blogging or writing a sermon. I'm speaking more about the normal every day communication we have back and fourth with the people in our lives. Of course sometimes writing things down in a message or text rather than speaking it in person can be helpful for the process, and at times the most convenient! However, sometimes it allows us to say and communicate things we don't really mean. Honestly.. even saying things in person can communicate the opposite of who we really are. "Reacting" can really get us into trouble sometimes. I'll talk about that in a moment..
Just like the words we say to ourselves can completely change almost any situation, the words we speak to others have just as much power.

Recently I had a situation occur in my personal life that had me emotional and frustrated. I said A LOT of things that I shouldn't have said. Maybe I meant them due to being frustrated! But sometimes our feelings are indicators of things that need to be sorted through within ourselves, rather than being words spoken. This is actually something that I've been doing a lot of self reflecting on, and sorting through in my own life. Part of the reason I've been trying to cut back my social media time is because of that very reason. Of course there are times to speak up, but there are also times that I need to sit back and process my feelings rather than spewing my emotions all over the place with harsh words. I'm also learning how to be a RESPONDER with my words and not a REACTOR. A reactor adds trouble on top of trouble. A responder adds grace on top of grace. A reactor spews emotion. A responder gives a gentle answer. A reactor escalates the conflict. A responder dissipates the conflict.

Do we want to add trouble or grace to others lives? Do we want to spew emotion or give a gentle answer? Do we want to escalate a conflict or dissipate it? I think the answers for all of us are obvious. I know for me it is. But it's hard.. that's the issue.
For someone like me who speaks a lot of words in one single day, learning how to handle my words better can be quite a challenge (haha). Being a mom really challenges this. As a mom, it's so much easier in the moment to REACT to my children and their behavior. Learning how to RESPOND to them is crucial though. Our words can be encouraging or damaging to them. Even discipline if done the right way can be encouraging to them rather than harm their little spirits. What I'm realizing though, is that as adults we tend to be just as fragile.

The harsh reality is that within each of us is a sinful nature that wants to react on everything. But I believe that God wants better for us. God wants our words to encourage one another and speak life and love into the lives around us. That doesn't mean we shouldn't ever speak hard truths to people who need it. It means that wether we choose to internally process our emotions or verbalized them, that we do it with the wisdom that comes from Christ. God is FOR freedom of speech. He's also for love, unity, respect, and reconciliation.

May the power of our words speak life and love into OUR lives and into the lives of OTHERS.

LOVE

Real active thriving love can do huge things in us and through us, and make an even bigger impact in those around us. Many of the things wrong with the world today, are the way they are because love is ABSENT. The absence of love can wreak havoc within friendships, families, marriages, churches... and the world at large. So what do we do? We love. We love everyone no matter what. We pray for more love where there's none or very little. We choose unity, peace, and love when maybe our hearts want to fight back. That's going to mean something different for every person and situation. It's not always easy, but it's right.

In a world where love is defined as being and not being so many different things.. one thing is always true. No matter what anyone else is doing, WE can always choose love. We live in a day and age where we can tweet, text, fb, and blog anything we feel. Although I hope my blogs can encourage people, I also recognize that even these words can only go so far. The world needs us to get off our couch, walk out our front door, and show people love. Show the world love. Love is worth it.

Last week Nate's aunt died, and this past weekend was the funeral. At the funeral the pastor who spoke read Psalm 23, but did something different with it. Most of the times God was referred to in the Psalm, he replaced it with the word "LOVE". At first I thought to myself "why would you change scripture?" Then I quickly reminded myself that God IS love, so it's actually very fitting and appropriate. What this Psalm becomes when you reflect on God and Love being connected, is something very beautiful. I encourage you to actually read it and really let it sink in.

“LOVE is my shepherd, I lack nothing. LOVE makes me lie down in green pastures, LOVE leads me beside quiet waters, LOVE refreshes my soul. LOVE guides me along the right paths for his nameʼs sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for LOVE is with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. LOVE anoints my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely LOVE'S goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Isn't that just incredible?
If you are feeling overwhelmed or disheartened about ANYTHING today, I encourage you to reflect on that verse. Even if you don't believe in God or the Bible, I think we can all agree that LOVE can be a powerful thing.

Romans‬ ‭12:9-21‬
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lordʼs people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for Godʼs wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
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‭‭1 John‬ ‭3:18‬
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:13‬
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.”

Election Day

The last few months I've seen and heard A LOT surrounding the election and potential candidates. It was hard to escape. I've seen the media saying one thing and then heard friends and family saying another thing. I did my best to do my own research, and not have the media (or even friends) convince me of what I should do. Boy was it hard though!!!! With all the nasty articles (and videos!!!) floating around fb, and heated arguments taking place on people's status's, it made it all very difficult to determine where I stood in all of it. It was also difficult to stay silent and never comment or say anything. I was not entirely successful in that haha.. but I at least always tried my best to stay kind and respectful.

What made me feel the most discouraged is actually the way people treated one another. It’s as though every American decided only their reality and their opinions and their stories matter. When in fact, using our own reality to discredit another’s will never lead to progress or result in peace. Something I ask myself a lot before I post anything is this - "Am I really "spreading awareness", or am I just spreading negativity?" I haven't always done the best job at that either, but I'm growing in that area and that has really helped me.

In regards to Trump and Hillary...
Yes, they have both made terrible mistakes. Yes, they are running for president so therefore we hold them to a higher standard.. but should we? They are sinners just as we are all sinners. In the Bible it says "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I don't think that means don't have opinions and that everyone's sin is ok! I certainly don't think that. However, it says "cast the first stone" which to me means deliberately attacking in a negative non-helpful way. It's bad enough the two candidates were constantly attacking one another. Then, not only have WE been attacking the candidates.. but we are all attacking each other too! Yikes. Freedom of speech? Yes. But being free to say whatever we want or post whatever we want doesn't mean that it's always ok or beneficial to the situation. I've learned from my own mistakes in that area as well.

We're all upset and worked up about all this.. but you know who's pretty happy right now??? The devil. He is literally having a blast watching all of us getting tangled up in this "political war". We have all allowed it to get the best of us at some point and time. I know I have. The Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8 "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." And he has done just that. The enemy LOVES that right now the two candidates representing our country are people like Trump and Hillary.. and he loves even more that we hate them. He LOVES seeing politics come between families and friendships. He loves it. But Christians hear me out... what if.. WHAT IF instead of just hating them or bashing them or arguing with our friends about them... what if we PRAYED FOR THEM. We have to stand against the enemy and stop giving him what he wants! What if all our negativity, angry remarks, and arguments turned into prayer and humble concern for this nation? Seriously guys what if??? We are better than all this. Maybe the choices we were given this election weren't the greatest, but WE are better than this.

Pretty soon, one of them will be our next president though. You don't have to like them. I don't have to like them. However, he or she is still going to be the president regardless. So then what? More social media slander about him or her? No thank you.
As a Christian I will be praying like CRAZY for whoever that may be. Maybe you don't respect either candidate! Fair enough. They may not deserve our respect, but they at least deserve our prayers. The Bible does say to pray for our enemies! I've heard many people state how "afraid" they are if _____ wins. Most of those people are actually Christians! If you're that afraid of this election, think about how much power you are giving the enemy. And please know, I too have failed miserably in this area the last few months. I am taking my own advice here. We have to stop treating the election like it's voting for the next savior of the world. We have to stop being a part of the fear and negativity that created all this division in the first place.
When we put our hope in ANY human, they will always fail us in some way. So as a Christian, my leader is in Heaven and not in the White House. I'm voting because it's my right and privilege as an American. But not even an OUNCE of my hope is in ANY candidate. My hope is only in Christ. The God I serve is bigger than any fear.. and He is DEFINITELY way bigger than this election.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

"Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you."
Deuteronomy 5:5

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior…"
1 Timothy 2:1-3

Does everything happen for a reason?

"Everything happens for a reason." Have you ever had someone say that to you? It's a phrase we often say to people when they are either struggling, or just coming out of a time of struggling. It's meant to be positive and comforting to the person, but often times it actually isn't that at all. I'm sure I've even said it myself, or agreed with others when they've said it. However, I have had many people over the last several years express their frustration to me about this phrase. As well as listening to others opinions on this, I have also done my own thinking on the matter. Through all that, I'm realizing how this statement should never be a go to phrase for us these days. We live is times where a lot of people are really struggling. People who are drowning in sadness and hurt. The last thing someone wants to hear most of the time is "everything happens for a reason". When someone is REALLY hurting, they don't want to feel like there's a reason for it.. because they most likely wish it didn't happen. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure how accurate that even is. However, I do see the grey area in this.. in the sense that I DO think sometimes God can and will bring us through something hard to create a certain discipline in our life. But I'm speaking more towards the idea of sad tragic events happening in our life, and having someone we love say those 5 words that can actually cause us more pain, confusion, and frustration.

The reality isn't that there is always a reason for something, but that God can always do good through it and in it. GOD CAN ALWAYS DO GOOD THROUGH IT AND IN IT.
Example: When someones spouse dies at the age of like 30, there's no reason for it. It's a tragedy. Fast forward 5 years later and they are re-married and in love. Someone may say to them "see, everything happens for a reason!" No. Their spouse didn't die because they were meant to meet someone else... that was just God blessing that person with happiness again. That was God doing good in it and through it. That's not giving the tragedy or hardship a reason for happening.. it's giving it hope and peace. There's a difference!

Someone getting cancer is devastating and there's no reason for it. Someone's dad dying before he's able to walk his daughter down the isle to get married is heartbreaking and there's no reason for it. Someone having to birth a stillborn baby is painfully sad and there's no reason for it. Watching your child, friend, spouse, cousin, sibling or whoever be heavily addicted to drugs and ruin their life is sad and disappointing, and there's no reason for it. Those are painful real life things that we all can go through. Can't we find something else encouraging to say rather than those 5 words?

It especially surprises me when Christians say this actually. I feel like if you are a Christian saying that "everything happens for a reason" to a non-believer, that you may actually be turning them away from God and the idea of Christianity all together. No one wants to believe in a God who allows bad things to happen for a "reason". The truth is this: God ALLOWS bad things to happen yes  - But it's because we all have free will and we also live in a world of sicknesses and death. BUT.. God can and WILL come into our pain and create peace, joy, and healing if we allow Him. It's because GOD IS GOOD.

I'm not going to deny the fact that as a Christian I do think there are certain specific situations where there's a "divine reason" for something. I just don't believe that's the reality of every single situation. It's also not our job to give reasons for things or even claim that there is one anyway. God is always good and always there for us in everything we go through. THATS the encouragement and reminder our brothers and sisters in Christ need to hear!

I know people mean well when they say this... but please stop and recognize the further pain and frustration you can cause a person by saying it. Maybe you are reading this and you disagree with me.. well that's ok! We all have our own thoughts and feelings surrounding topics like this. But it's important to understand how our words can hurt someone more, even if we mean well. Maybe next time you have a friend or loved one struggling you can say this: "I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. God is good and can help you get through it." Because that's always the truth right? God IS good! HE is the all knowing one. HE knows the reasons for things happening if there are any. HE will reveal that to us in the right time. Only HE can turn bad to good, death to life, pain to peace, sadness to happiness, and broken relationships to reconciliation. What an amazing hope to always rest in! Everything happens for..... the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ!!! Every situation is an opportunity to worship God and show others his beauty and faithfulness. Through our pain and struggles Gods grace, love, and power can be revealed. At the end of every bad situation is a chance for redemption and healing.... for no reason other than the incredible mercy and grace of our God in heaven. How amazing.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭

Peace

Peace....
What does peace even look like? Does anyone this day and age even know? Is peace even possible in a world where things like division, hatred, war, and chaos are such a reality? I ask myself those questions a lot lately. Sometimes it's overwhelming. I often have to take a step back and realize there's almost nothing I can do to change the state of the world. I also cannot change other people - which for me is a huge struggle to rest in. I can however, start with my own life.

What does peace mean to me, in my own life? If I'm being honest, most days I don't know. If I get dressed in new clothes, get a shower in, get my daughter to school on time, and make it through the day in one piece, I feel like I'm in pretty good shape.. haha. THEN my days are filled with yelling, punishing, crying, toddler tantrums, and taking deep breaths. Yep. Sounds like motherhood. There's very little room in my life for "peace" these days. Not to mention having to deal with ALL humans... other adults with issues and their own daily battles like me. Throw in freedom of speech, difference of opinions, social media, and a divided world, and you've got yourself a life where peace often feels very far.

So that's the bad news haha... but the good news is that it doesn't always have to be that way! I am no expert, I am DEFINITELY a work in progress in this area. I have a roof over my head, food at my reach all day, friends and family who love me, two beautiful children, an incredible husband, and a savior in heaven who loves me unconditionally. Then why on Gods green earth do I feel anything BUT peace.. ever! Because I am a sinful human being who is run by her emotions. For everyone it's different. I know many people who struggle with real anxiety.. real depression. I think it's important for everyone to recognize what it is for them personally that makes them struggle in the area of peace.

What makes you lack peace in your own life? Maybe you care too much what other people think about you, and the world is a messy judgmental place. Maybe you spread yourself too thin and you're just burnt out and tired every day. Maybe you are even struggling with an addiction. Maybe you have some sort of physical ailment. Maybe you or someone you know has cancer. Or maybe you are a mom who puts so much into other little lives that some days you feel as though you have nothing left to give to yourself or anyone else. Everyone's different, but I think we can all say that we WANT more peace in our lives. I think it's important to recognize though, that sometimes the battles we face can't be fixed over night - in fact most problems can't. Some can't be fixed at all. So what do we do then? Well.. we look for the olive branch. Yep.

My name actually means "olive branch", which to me is a symbol of peace. I love this passage of scripture in the Bible that makes that symbolism so real to me:
Genesis‬ ‭8:6-11‬ says “After forty days Noah opened a window he had made in the ark and sent out a raven, and it kept flying back and forth until the water had dried up from the earth. Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. But the dove could find nowhere to perch because there was water over all the surface of the earth; so it returned to Noah in the ark. He reached out his hand and took the dove and brought it back to himself in the ark. He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth.”

I love this example of peace. Why? Because the story of Noah was actually a pretty dark one. We all know the brightly colored happy smiling animals version of the story from church or Sunday school.. haha. But in reality, God choosing to flood the entire earth is actually pretty crazy! It's sad, dark, and lonely. And yet.. at the end there's not only a rainbow, but this beautiful picture of peace and hope.

I used to think that the opposite of peace was anxiety or worry. But that's going with the idea of peace being a feeling. I heard a message about peace once and she said "fake peace is feeling, but real peace is knowing." Peace is.. your olive branch. It's that glimmer of hope at the end of the flood. Or sometimes, it's a glimmer of hope DURING the flood. In the story of Noah yes, the dove came back when the flood was over. However, we don't know how Noah and his family felt.. but I'm sure in many ways it was still a struggle dealing with the aftermath of so much death and destruction. I think in some ways the dove and olive branch entered at a part of the story where there was probably still a lot of confusion, unknowing, and fear for Noah's family. I think that's what's beautiful about that story. Peace came at the RIGHT time. It came not because the struggle was over, but as a way to show Noah that life will carry on again.

You might be dealing with some pretty heavy stuff right now.. so maybe peace isn't something you think you can have or deserve. But you can. Sometimes we think we have to have our life in order before we can ever feel peace. That is so far from the truth. Maybe just KNOWING that there will come a day that you can overcome whatever it is you're going through is all the peace you can have right now. Then maybe.. just maybe.. THAT peace can lead you down the path of healing. That's what real peace does. It doesn't come once everything's ok. It comes as a light in the midst of a storm.