"Everything happens for a reason." Have you ever had someone say that to you? It's a phrase we often say to people when they are either struggling, or just coming out of a time of struggling. It's meant to be positive and comforting to the person, but often times it actually isn't that at all. I'm sure I've even said it myself, or agreed with others when they've said it. However, I have had many people over the last several years express their frustration to me about this phrase. As well as listening to others opinions on this, I have also done my own thinking on the matter. Through all that, I'm realizing how this statement should never be a go to phrase for us these days. We live is times where a lot of people are really struggling. People who are drowning in sadness and hurt. The last thing someone wants to hear most of the time is "everything happens for a reason". When someone is REALLY hurting, they don't want to feel like there's a reason for it.. because they most likely wish it didn't happen. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure how accurate that even is. However, I do see the grey area in this.. in the sense that I DO think sometimes God can and will bring us through something hard to create a certain discipline in our life. But I'm speaking more towards the idea of sad tragic events happening in our life, and having someone we love say those 5 words that can actually cause us more pain, confusion, and frustration.
The reality isn't that there is always a reason for something, but that God can always do good through it and in it. GOD CAN ALWAYS DO GOOD THROUGH IT AND IN IT.
Example: When someones spouse dies at the age of like 30, there's no reason for it. It's a tragedy. Fast forward 5 years later and they are re-married and in love. Someone may say to them "see, everything happens for a reason!" No. Their spouse didn't die because they were meant to meet someone else... that was just God blessing that person with happiness again. That was God doing good in it and through it. That's not giving the tragedy or hardship a reason for happening.. it's giving it hope and peace. There's a difference!
Someone getting cancer is devastating and there's no reason for it. Someone's dad dying before he's able to walk his daughter down the isle to get married is heartbreaking and there's no reason for it. Someone having to birth a stillborn baby is painfully sad and there's no reason for it. Watching your child, friend, spouse, cousin, sibling or whoever be heavily addicted to drugs and ruin their life is sad and disappointing, and there's no reason for it. Those are painful real life things that we all can go through. Can't we find something else encouraging to say rather than those 5 words?
It especially surprises me when Christians say this actually. I feel like if you are a Christian saying that "everything happens for a reason" to a non-believer, that you may actually be turning them away from God and the idea of Christianity all together. No one wants to believe in a God who allows bad things to happen for a "reason". The truth is this: God ALLOWS bad things to happen yes - But it's because we all have free will and we also live in a world of sicknesses and death. BUT.. God can and WILL come into our pain and create peace, joy, and healing if we allow Him. It's because GOD IS GOOD.
I'm not going to deny the fact that as a Christian I do think there are certain specific situations where there's a "divine reason" for something. I just don't believe that's the reality of every single situation. It's also not our job to give reasons for things or even claim that there is one anyway. God is always good and always there for us in everything we go through. THATS the encouragement and reminder our brothers and sisters in Christ need to hear!
I know people mean well when they say this... but please stop and recognize the further pain and frustration you can cause a person by saying it. Maybe you are reading this and you disagree with me.. well that's ok! We all have our own thoughts and feelings surrounding topics like this. But it's important to understand how our words can hurt someone more, even if we mean well. Maybe next time you have a friend or loved one struggling you can say this: "I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. God is good and can help you get through it." Because that's always the truth right? God IS good! HE is the all knowing one. HE knows the reasons for things happening if there are any. HE will reveal that to us in the right time. Only HE can turn bad to good, death to life, pain to peace, sadness to happiness, and broken relationships to reconciliation. What an amazing hope to always rest in! Everything happens for..... the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ!!! Every situation is an opportunity to worship God and show others his beauty and faithfulness. Through our pain and struggles Gods grace, love, and power can be revealed. At the end of every bad situation is a chance for redemption and healing.... for no reason other than the incredible mercy and grace of our God in heaven. How amazing.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28
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